Dear Diary: Chapter 5

Dear Diary: chapter 5

Happy New Year's everyone! I thought I would start the new year off with a few random things going on in my life right now...

1. My daughter Madeline has a habit of taking random things and hiding them in mysterious places. Her greatest feat so far has been making a xylophone key disappear without a trace. After months of looking everywhere for it we finally gave up hope. This week however, I finally found it hidden in amongst the branches of our christmas tree when I was taking it to the wood chippers.

2. There’s a dirty ugly rat living in my garage. Maybe he's not ugly by rat standards, but he's definitely ugly by human standards. I don’t have any phobias, but now I every time I open the garage door I'm afraid that a rat is going to run up my pant leg. If anyone knows either how to get rid of him or what to name him (or both), I’m all ears. 
(Update: I got back from Christmas holidays and found a half decomposed frozen rat in my garage. I couldn't help but feel bad for the poor little guy. I showed my respect by ceremoniously flinging his body into a bush behind my house with a shovel).

3. HAIR UPDATE: As fans of the Beef know, my hair and I have been on a magical journey. After 34 years of being on this earth I finally decided to let it all grow out, and the results have been incredible. When people look at me, I can tell that they think my hair looks sexy and cool. It's currently down to just above my shoulders. I haven't decided how long I will let it grow, all I know is that I’m going to keep riding this groove train.

4. For Christmas my awesome wife got me a rugged new mountain stroller so that Madeline and I can go on crazy outdoor adventures. The illustration looks like me pushing a lawnmower, but I assure you that it is me pushing a cool new stroller up a mountain.

5. I never make new year’s resolutions, but I have decided that 2016 will be the year that I finally learn French. I’ve been making a loose effort to learn for the last couple of years, and now it's time to pick up the pace. If you happen to see me on the street, feel free to say ‘Bonjour’.

6. Starting this month I’m going to be taking an eight week illustration course at the Emily Carr University, and I’m super excited about it. On top of my regular weekly posts, expect to see lots of new and wonderful things here at the Land of Le Beef.

Dear Diary: Chapter 4

In the past I have called this segment '6 Things Happening in My Life Right Now'. Obviously that doesn't exactly roll of the tongue, so I decided to find a new name for it. After countless minutes of brainstorming (one name that I wisely rejected was 'A Peek Behind the Beef Curtains'), I finally found one. These segments are sort of like a visual journal, so the new name, 'Dear Diary' seemed fitting. Anyway, without further ado here is a peek inside my personal diary:

1. At age 1, my daughter has become infatuated with a Russian kids show called Masha & the Bear. It's about a young girl who hangs who spends her days pestering a bear that lives in the woods. We don't know why she loves it so much, but my wife and think it's because she sees a lot of herself in Masha; she sort of looks like her, and she also loves harassing fury creatures.

2. I bought a new pair of boots recently to prepare for the coming Vancouver winter. They're rugged, stylish, and they make my feet feel like they're receiving a warm hug.

3. Once again I am currently back in Hong Kong for a few weeks for work (it's not easy being an internationally famous photographer). This will likely be my last trip to Hong Kong for a little while, so I will be stuffing myself with as many dumplings as possible while I'm here.

4. I make a special point of not crying on airplanes. Usually this is very easy - sit there, don't cry. On my recent flight however, I happened to watch a movie that made me break down in tears next to bunch of strangers . The movie was 'Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl'. It was actually a really funny movie, and overall well done. I recommend it. I also cried when I received the plane food, when my seat wouldn't recline, and when there was a line-up for the washroom.

5. I'm been busy working on this year's Land of Le Beef Advent Calendar, and I'm really excited for it. If you're new to the Land of Le Beef, every year I post a series of festive Christmas cartoons everyday from Dec 1 - Dec 25. This year it has a Hollywood theme, featuring elves re-enacting famous movies lines. I predict that it will go viral and sweep the nation. By Christmas day I should be pretty famous.

6. While in Hong Kong I'm staying with friends who own two cats, whom I refer to as the grey one and the brown one (this is what I call the cats, not the friends). They grey one really likes me.

Doodles & Stuff - a Javier Perez Inspired Class Project

I host a weekly illustration class with students at a school in Hong Kong, and last week I had the brilliant idea doing a class inspired by the work of Javier Perez. Basically we just grabbed a bunch of random stuff and turned them into other random stuff. Here's some of their pieces:

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32 Bottles of Beer | part 2

This is part 2 of the super popular Land of Le Beef exclusive series, "32 Bottles of Beer". Basically it's a loose, illustrative review of some random beers that have been delivered to me through the Beer of the Month Club at the Bottle Shop in Hong Kong. Since the first review, I have grown an appreciation for hops and IPA's, I have discovered a few breweries that are awesome, and I have learned how to draw a clown riding a really short unicycle.

Wells - Sticky Toffee Pudding Ale

When I first saw the label of this beer, I was expecting not to like it. Not that I have anything against sticky toffee pudding (and I certainly don't have anything against beer), but the combination of the two just don't interest me much. In fact, it is not a bad tasting beer. There is definitely a toffee taste in there, but it lingers for just a moment, and sits amongst a light refreshing beer taste. Although I probably wouldn't order this at a bar, I could imagine drinking one of these at a seaside carnival while watching a clown on a unicycle juggling bowling pins - it’s like the grown-up version of eating a candy apple. 

Moonzen - Moon Goddess Chocolate Stout

This beer comes from a small brewery in Hong Kong. It took me a while to actually taste it because I carelessly poured it into a glass and  gave is an inhibiting amount of head. With the first sip (several moments later), I found it refreshing, slightly sweet, and a pleasant amount of bitterness. There is also a hint of vanilla somewhere in there. None of the flavours seem to scream for my attention - they are perfectly unified, living together in harmony. I feels like a night time beer - a quiet reflective, staring up the night sky beer. Perhaps that’s why they called it Moon Goddess.

St Austell - Big Job

This is a big manly-sized beer (a full half-litre), with a very proud label. It claims to be a ‘massively hopped cornish double IPA’ - this means that it should be the hoppiest beer that I have ever encountered. It smells excitingly hoppy. The taste is fresh, light, full of flavour, and just mildly bitter. It is well balanced. The flavour comes in with its full size - like a cowboy kicking in a saloon door. It holds nothing back. At 7.2% alc, it packs a fairly heavy punch as well.

32 Bottles of Beer | part 1

I recently received a 3 month Beer Club subscription through the Bottle Shop HK. This means that I will receiving a case of 8-12 randomly selected beers for the next few months, and I would like to invite you to share this journey with me.

Although I would love to call myself a beer connoisseur, I am actually fairly ignorant about the subject. I barely know the difference between a stout, a lager, and Riesling (I know that a hop is something a rabbit does, but I'm not sure how that relates to beer). I'm sure I will learn a few things along the way, and I hope you do as well.

A few weeks ago I received my first delivery; it felt like Christmas. This month there are 6 different beers. I can't wait to get to know them better...

#1. Rochefort - Trappistes 10

(a medieval taste for the lute enthusiast)

Looking at the label, this beer would fit in perfectly at a Renaissance fair. In order to really set the mood, I found some medieval ‘lute’ music to go with the tasting. An interesting note about Trappist beers - they are made by monks in a monastery (there are only 10 authentic Trappist breweries, and Rochefort is one of the oldest). More interesting still, all of the water comes from a well within the monastery. 

As I took the first sip, the lute music got faster and more dramatic, exploding into a crescendoSlightly fizzy (not unpleasantly so). It is rich with flavour. Lighter than I expected, and a little bitter. You can almost taste the monk water, and can certainly taste the long history and craftsmanship that goes into it. It’s a long way from a Coors or a Heineken. It lives in much simpler time, when the only thing you had to worry about was plagues and viking attacks.

#2. Omnipollo - Mazarin

(an unexpected flavour explosion)

This was the coolest looking beer of the bunch, with just a single melted candle screen printed on the front. It is an ‘american-style pale ale’ from a Swedish company, Omnipollo (which I think means ‘every chicken’). A bit of background info - American-style pale ales uses american hops, which distinguishes it from a European pale ale. There are lots of floating debris in this one, which apparently are remnants of yeast from the brewing process. 

It smells floral, with a hint of peaches, but still somewhat masculine. The taste is a different story - it is like a firework. It hits the tongue, stays for a brief moment as you notice the many exciting flavours, and then it is gone. It reminds me of butterflies fluttering about, and then landing just long enough to show off their colours. If you brought a case of this to a party, you would look cool, artsy, and probably sexy. It is a beautiful beer inside a beautiful bottle. 

Omnipollo - 3.14

(a sophisticated summertime jaunt)

This one has a nicely designed text-based logo, that doesn't feel the need to yell at you with giant lettering. It is a ‘saison beer brewed with wild flower honey’ (a saison beer is an ale that is traditionally brewed in the winter, to be consumed in the summer. They tend to be fruity, earthy, and spicy).

It has a light colour, with a very different taste. The closest thing I can compare it to is a Hoegarden. I think I tasted pepper and hops (bitter), with a slight floral note. After the first few sips the honey flavour is started to emerge. It tastes like a summer beer, but with a a lot more sophistication. With every sip I feel that I am laying in a hammock in the sun, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a monocle. The taste seems to evolve, and it gets better and better with each sip. Omnipollo is quickly becoming my favourite brewery.

Mountain Goat - The Delmont

(a big, friendly, outdoorsy kind of beer)

As if the size of this beer isn’t exciting enough (640ml - nearly twice the size of an average beer), the label is a beautifully designed piece of print right down to the ingredients list. The beer itself is a ‘west coast IPA’, which means that it should be jammed packed with as many hops as is legally possible. I don’t actually know what a hop tastes like, but I think I have an idea after drinking this one.

The first sip reminds me of hiking through the mountains on a cool morning, with a taste of fresh mountain streams, moist soil, and budding pine cones. Quite enjoyable. The taste does’t linger. It comes in strong and then quickly fades out with a slight echo near the back of the tongue. There is definitely a bitterness from the hops, but just enough to remind you that you are drinking of notable quality.

Brouwerij De Molen - Op & Top

(a well balanced beer that overflows when you open it)

It is a cool looking bottle. The design is very modern looking, like it would be served at an ultra trendy downtown bar. It is an ‘american bitter-ish’ beer, which I assume means that it uses American hops (whether or not american hops are drastically different than european hops, asian hops, or antarctic hops, I’m not sure). 

As soon as I opened the bottle it started overflowing all over the place and so the first taste I had was when I frantically put my mouth over the bottle to keep it contained; not the most ideal way to enjoy a beer. It is a dark beer, like a Guiness, but lighter and more refreshing. Like the bottle says, it is bitter-ish, but just slightly. Although it is flavourful and complex, I can’t discern any one taste that sticks out - it all seems to be in perfect harmony. It is a lot like the label, good clean design without any unnecessary ornamentation. All in all, a very enjoyable, sophisticated beer.

Follow-up: There were two of this beer included in the delivery, and the second overflowed the moment I opened it as well. I don’t know what I did wrong, but I assume that they are not designed to do this.

Omnipollo - Yellow Belly

(a "beer" that can't be described by words)

I wanted to end off with this one because it was the most mysterious of the bunch. I’m not sure who’s meant to be the aforementioned yellow belly here, me or the beer. I won’t reveal exactly what’s beneath the wrapping, but I will say that there is more information about what to expect, and I've come to realize that the costume less like a ghost, and more akin to a Ku Kuts Klan member hiding cowardly behind the anonymity of organized racism. It is a beer that celebrates open-mindedness. More specifically, it is a “peanut butter biscuit stout with no biscuits, butter, or nuts”. Omnipollo has proved itself to be a very passionate and design driven company, and I'm excited for anything it throws at me.

The smell is very toffee like, with definite hints of peanut butter. It’s super dark, and almost syrupy. I can already tell that I wouldn’t want to drink too many of these in one sitting. At first sip it was not as sweet as the smell, and slightly more fizzy than I would have expected. There are a lot of tastes here to sift through, so here’s my best shot: toffee, malt chocolate, coffee, black liquorice, bitterness, root beer, crushed up soda crackers, radishes, old vinyl records, and duct tape. It tastes more like a weird chocolate soft drink than a beer. Although I greatly appreciate Omnipollo’s courage in putting this out there, I’m pretty sure I don’t like it.