the thunder from down under

I promised that the gentleman in my next trademarked line of cartoon 'Pick-up Lines' would be handsome and charming - and I delivered. Meet Marc. Marc is a handsome outdoorsy type who enjoys cooking, writing poetry, and roller-skating.

It was brought to my attention that only female kangaroos have pouches - well, if you must know, Marc's pouch is more of an accessory where he keeps his keys, wallet, and tic-tacs. It's more like a 'murse' than a pouch; all the modern male kangaroos are wearing them nowadays. Anyway, here are some kangaroo pick-up lines, some of which I came up with, some which were submitted by others...

"Can I interest you in some outback?"

"I love your accent; what is that, Scottish?"

"that's not a boomerang in my pouch..."

"Can I give you an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss, but down under."

"Let's bounce"

"Don't fight it, it's BOUND to happen...so just HOP on sweetheart!"

"You know what they say about big feet, don't you? Check out these whoppers!"

"Wallaby (Well I'll be) betting you'll be coming home with me tonight."

Thank you for joining me for another exciting edition of 'Pick-up Lines', and thank you to everyone who submitted. If you any to add, please put them in the comments section...​

I love the smell of easter in the morning

eGgs. Eggs. egGs. eggS. it's amazing how the word 'eggs' changes so dramatically depending on which letter is capitalized.... but enough about that, it's Easter time!​

hot potato

so I'm sitting at a bar the other night, minding my own business, when I notice two potatoes talking to one another. from my vantage point, it appeared as though one of the potatoes was hitting on the other one. Needless to say, I became instantly curious as to what kind of game a potato lays down when trying to close the deal with a tasty tater. This is what I overheard:​

"what do you say we go back to my place and get baked?"

"I've had my eyes on you all night..."

"I find you very, very a peeling...."

"would you like some fries with that shake?"

"baby, I'd like to peeeeeel you out of those skins..."

"owww! you are one SWEET potato..."

"Would you like to be f#@k spuddies...?"

"you wanna see my couch, potato?"

"Care for a game of one potato two potato?"

"Who the hoe? I-DA-HO! Get it?"

"This spud's for you"

Have any to add? Share them with the world by writing in the comments section....​

a st. patrick's day extravaganza

​it's that special time of year again when friendly leprechauns come out of their various hiding places, and prance around while showering people with shamrocks and drinking beer.

many people don't know this about me, but I once caught a leprechaun - I found him passed out in an ally. I assumed that he would lead me to his pot of gold, but mostly he was just confused and angry about why he was in my house, so I let him go. All in all, it was a pretty magical experience.

a fresh take on an old classic